Hello lovelies!

How’s everyone doing on this beautiful Wednesday??

I hope good! I’m enjoying my spring break, even if I’m currently sitting in the library……..

Sooooooooooo I wanted to share some news with you all!

I’m in like with this guy incredibly sweet and cute guy! So sweet I’m not even sure I deserve it.

So, brief details, about a month ago I made the decision to give online dating a chance. Didn’t go as far as to pick a site where I had to pay, so I chose an app instead…….and before you ask, no it was NOT tinder.

I ain’t about that life, but if you are cool for you.

You do you

Whatever floats your boat

No judgements.

Annnnnnnnnyway, I started chatting with this really genuine, goofy, fellow dork (like me) super cute guy. Then I started talking to only him.

Turns out we have SO MUCH in common!

Then I go on a date with the guy! FYI totally nerve racking and somewhat scary going on a date with someone you’ve never met before! However, I felt surprisingly comfortable around him and we’re going out AGAIN tonight!

So excited!!

Literally my cheeks hurt from smiling. He makes me smile ALL THE TIME!

I’ve never felt this way before so I’m in uncharted territory, plus I’ve never wanted to get serious about someone like I do with him.

Even just typing those words caused me to have butterflies!

So……could this be him?

My fish that people kept saying I’d eventually find???

Stay tuned




This Is Me

So first of all, if you haven’t seen The Greatest Showman then you need to


Like right now

Ok, finish reading this first, then watch it.

Last week was my first speech in my class. It was an informative speech where we could pick our topics, I decided to be brave and talk about my syndrome.

First ever for me! I put myself WAY out there!!

And let me tell you, I’m glad I did! I inquired with my Facebook support group and have now had people reaching out to me, wanting to talk to someone who they can connect with.

After my speech, which I did surprisingly well on, though I wish I got a better grade on……also first for me. I had the most questions asked afterwards and my peer reviews were great! They thought I was engaging and well spoken/confident.

Since then I’ve felt this change, not a huge change, but a change no less. My whole life I’ve never felt ashamed of what I was born with or super insecure about it, but as with any kid who’s born different there can be those few little jack asses who want to pick on someone because of something they don’t understand……..yes this still sometimes happens today.

However, I’ve felt this confidence and pride in myself. I wouldn’t change having this syndrome if I had the choice. It makes me rare and even more unique and helps me spread awareness and connect with people on a level I wouldn’t be able to if I didn’t have it.

It’s taught me the meaning of acceptance, empathy, kindness, bravery, and respect.

“I am brave. I am bruised. I am who I’m meant to be. This is me”


Sit Still Look Prettyi

Who else has moments of feeling like a disappointment??

I happen to have these moments the most when around my grandparents. The traditionalists who find it unfathomable that a 24 year old woman is single with no children.

This all goes back to the holidays but will become relevant soon…..bare with me.

Soooooo the usual awkward get together with them occurs. Topics usually 3.politics 4.relationship status (for me only, of course) because my sister’s still “young” ๐Ÿ™„.

This year, however, the awkwardness was at a minimum. I talked to my grandma about music and introduced her and my grandfather to Snapchat…….which is always entertaining when introducing anyone to haha……..the night was going smoothly and quickly. No unbearable questions asked. First sign of disappointment from them was when I informed them of my going back to school. My grandfather didn’t understand that. But they faked excitement and it was fine. The real disappointment was when we were saying our goodbyes (my mother, father, sister, and I) me and my sister were just about out the door when my grandfather just had to ask, “So Jordan, you don’t have a boyfriend do you?” Me “ummm no…” immediately thinking of someone (who’s irrelevant now) who was definitely not a boyfriend but a “friend” Him “yeah I figured” Me, thinking “wtf is that supposed to mean??” My grandmother “she’s focused on school” Him “oh yeah she’s being ‘smart'” Her “For now” Me….again…..thinking “wtf” first I’m shamed for being single, now shamed for being smart……..for now!

Once we get back to the car my mother tells me he asked if he “hit a nerve” to which she responded that I’ve dated but just hasn’t found someone serious. My sister asks me “why does he always ask if you have a boyfriend??”

I’m 24, OBVIOUSLY a woman should be married way before 24. Being 24 and still single?! I mean, you’re almost 30! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ add insult to injury (always wanted to use that phrase) I have no kids, unless you want to count Bubby ๐Ÿถ

To recap, 24 year old women should be married and “birthin’ babies”, running a household…..cause heaven forbid a woman work outside of the home.

“You get off on your nine to five

Dream of picket fences and trophy wives

But no, I’m never gonna be ’cause I don’t wanna be

No, I don’t wanna sit still look pretty”

So, on the opposite side of this coin,

Coming back to relevance. If you read my previous post, I may want casual and fun but I still want “chivalry”.

Especially if a guy knows sex is on the table he should give a lady some courtesy and respect

I don’t want the picket fence but I still want the respect.

There you have it.

I hope this made sense haha.



I’m 24 years old and for the first time in my 24 years I’m ready to have fun.

I don’t want a serious relationship until I’m done with school and have my life somewhat together…..I mean if a relationship happens, well, then it happens. No stopping it. But as long as I have a say, I say no.

I want to date, meet people, have sex, not have sex……whatever.

Why is there so much pressure and stress and hoopla that surrounds sex??

I mean it’s just chemistry and physicality, human nature……..Hahahaha “why? Why? Tell em that it’s human nature” ๐Ÿ˜‰

So right now I’m re-talking to this guy. A guy who before I wanted a relationship with and didn’t have sex with him because I knew he didn’t want a relationship……but now I don’t want a relationship, I want sex. Friends with benefits, no emotional strings attached. People (a list shorter than 5 people) are shocked by this. “How could you want that?” “This isn’t like you!”

Blah blah blah

It’s odd to have come to this point in my life where my heart is a box, in a safe, within a brick wall, in the ocean, buried in the sand. And at the moment it’s cool calm and collected. No muss no fuss.

On top of that I’m ready to date other people, since I’m not tied down to anyone. Does this make me a hoe? No.

Mama didn’t raise no hoe.

Don’t you forget that.


The way I see it, as long as there’s honesty, respect, and you’re both on the same page…things should be hunky Dory.

Alright…….that’s my ramblings for today. Been a hot minute since I’ve blogged it out to you lovely people.

And if any family members are ready this……….heh awkward.

Until next time.


War of Heartsย 

Hello Jotaters!!! 

I know it’s been a hot minute! 

Summer? Came and went

Fall? Is now upon us 

It’s now October!!!! How insane is that?!?!

Soooooooo let’s get to it, shall we? 

This past month has been……..rough, are house was gonna get sold, then didn’t…..then did……then didn’t ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธmy uncle passed away, which was very sad. Especially for my cousins and aunt. Knowing the relationship they had with each other and me being slightly selfish (in my head) feeling jealous, not having a relationship like that with either of my grandfathers. Having a sense of loss for what I never had. His funeral however, seeing how loved and respected he was throughout his life… was inspiring. 

On a more positive note, I feel at ease with my life…..? Does that make sense? I know the path I want to take to get to where I want to end up. I’m learning to let things go…….though it’s a struggle hahaha the stress of life that just needs to melt away, the fears that should drive me forward, not hold me back. 

This quote has stuck with me today. It’s the definition of what I want to accomplish out of life. For the first time in a LOOOOONG time I feel I’m in the right direction. 

Candy Girl (Sugar)ย 

At some point in my life, I hope a guy looks at me the way Jughead looks at Betty. 

Yes, I just finished binge watching Riverdale……..


I totally ship Bughead! 

Throughout the show I felt these two characters could only be their true selves….even if their true self is dark sometimes…..with each other. 

Just the way Jughead looks at Betty is swoonworthy. 

FYI if you didn’t love Cole Sprouse before (how could you not) then you will definitely love him in Riverdale.

I honestly haven’t seen that depth of chemistry on tv in awhile. You could see sparks just from a simple touch, which is amazing to me. That’s what true love is, sparking at the smallest thing. 

I think this song, in it’s true Archie’s fashion is a great song for this couple…..and this show 



I Say A Little Prayer For You

1. You! Yes you! Must watch My Best Friend’s Wedding at some point in your life! 

Ok, had to get that out of the way……

And you better do it you little turds!

Jk. You’re not turds

Unless you are 

Then you are most definitely turds

Ooooooookay moving on……

The song is a very “find your happy place” song for me.

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or too in my head, I just close my eyes and start singing this song, whether it’s my singing it on stage in my womanbrain (Crazy Ex Girlfriend reference) or it’s singing it outloud…..usually to Hurls haha

And if you’ve watched Glee then you know it’s difficult to sing/listen to this song and not do the “unholy trinity” dance…..

It is, very difficult

It’s just a great feel good song 

You can dance, clap, snap, jazzercise….whateva 

And as I’m typing this and having a hard time falling asleep, it’s helping to put my mind at ease and make me sleepy.

So on that note imma hit the hay.

With Aretha singing me to sleep


What’re your zen songs??