War of Heartsย 

Hello Jotaters!!! 

I know it’s been a hot minute! 

Summer? Came and went

Fall? Is now upon us 

It’s now October!!!! How insane is that?!?!

Soooooooo let’s get to it, shall we? 

This past month has been……..rough, are house was gonna get sold, then didn’t…..then did……then didn’t ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธmy uncle passed away, which was very sad. Especially for my cousins and aunt. Knowing the relationship they had with each other and me being slightly selfish (in my head) feeling jealous, not having a relationship like that with either of my grandfathers. Having a sense of loss for what I never had. His funeral however, seeing how loved and respected he was throughout his life…..it was inspiring. 

On a more positive note, I feel at ease with my life…..? Does that make sense? I know the path I want to take to get to where I want to end up. I’m learning to let things go…….though it’s a struggle hahaha the stress of life that just needs to melt away, the fears that should drive me forward, not hold me back. 

This quote has stuck with me today. It’s the definition of what I want to accomplish out of life. For the first time in a LOOOOONG time I feel I’m in the right direction. 

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Candy Girl (Sugar)ย 

At some point in my life, I hope a guy looks at me the way Jughead looks at Betty. 

Yes, I just finished binge watching Riverdale……..

SPOILERS 

I totally ship Bughead! 

Throughout the show I felt these two characters could only be their true selves….even if their true self is dark sometimes…..with each other. 

Just the way Jughead looks at Betty is swoonworthy. 

FYI if you didn’t love Cole Sprouse before (how could you not) then you will definitely love him in Riverdale.

I honestly haven’t seen that depth of chemistry on tv in awhile. You could see sparks just from a simple touch, which is amazing to me. That’s what true love is, sparking at the smallest thing. 

I think this song, in it’s true Archie’s fashion is a great song for this couple…..and this show 

WATCH RIVERDALE!!! 

Xoxo 

I Say A Little Prayer For You

1. You! Yes you! Must watch My Best Friend’s Wedding at some point in your life! 

Ok, had to get that out of the way……

And you better do it you little turds!

Jk. You’re not turds

Unless you are 

Then you are most definitely turds

Ooooooookay moving on……

The song is a very “find your happy place” song for me.

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or too in my head, I just close my eyes and start singing this song, whether it’s my singing it on stage in my womanbrain (Crazy Ex Girlfriend reference) or it’s singing it outloud…..usually to Hurls haha

And if you’ve watched Glee then you know it’s difficult to sing/listen to this song and not do the “unholy trinity” dance…..

It is, very difficult

It’s just a great feel good song 

You can dance, clap, snap, jazzercise….whateva 

And as I’m typing this and having a hard time falling asleep, it’s helping to put my mind at ease and make me sleepy.

So on that note imma hit the hay.

With Aretha singing me to sleep

Goodnight 

What’re your zen songs??

Xoxo

Music to me

 

When asked “what do I love more than anything?” Usually one of the first things people say is music, which is correct. 

I’m currently laying in bed, under the covers, with my headphones on and James Bay’s Scars is playing and it’s the second run through of the song. I’ve listened to this song many times. It’s one of my favorites of his songs, but tonight, I closed my eyes and it was like listening to it for the first time. Like I’ve grown to really understand the song, to really hear it and listen to his words. 

Have you ever grown into a song? 

Do you really listen to the music? 

I love that music allows you to escape. For 3 or 4 minutes you press play and lose yourself. You let a song become a part of you, to run into your veins. Your brain tries to decipher all of the emotions going through you at once and your heart is never the same again, all because of that one song. 

Music is and always be apart of me.

Thousands of songs tell my story of who I am. 

I am forever changed by those songs and the lyrics that run forever in my veins. 

Xoxo

Issues

“I got issues, you got them too” 

Alrighty folks, sense my last post was about “insecurities” this post is about “quirks” 

Let’s see…….where to begin…..oh, I know. 

My dog comes first above……most things…haha, and heads up, if he doesn’t like you then odds are I probably won’t/don’t.

I laugh, A LOT, especially if I’m nervous or in an awkward situation, I try to make jokes during serious moments. 

I’m not patriotic, political, or really religious….I feel more connected to the Earth than anything else. Fun fact, I do my best thinking in, near, or around water. 

I’m a carnivore who’s against animal cruelty (of any shape or form) 

I’m an old soul who loves music, fashion, and books. In that order. 

I have a fear of loud noises, above any other fears…..like legit fear. I panic and plan my escape route haha 

Smoking disgusts me, if you smoke then chances are I won’t be around you. 

I LOVE candles! Favorites include: vanilla, cupcake, maple, cotton candy, lavender, chia latte. 

I’m SUPER organized, I like order. 

I like having control…..

I’m impatient, opinionated, inquisitive, stubborn, at time  indecisive, I love surprises but will hound you to death about it. 

I suck at lying, which I’m ok with because I hate secrets. 

I’m super close with my family (parents and siblings) 

This is beginning to sound like a dating application hahahaha all interested bachelors please comment below….haha

I love baking, don’t cook.

I’m not sure if I’m marriage material, I like my space and am not very “touchy feely” lol  I’d probably decide to have kids before I decide to get married haha

So yeah, “I got issues” ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Take it or leave it 

Xoxo 

AScars to your Beautiful

It’s time for some real talk. 

I am fair skinned, with freckles, moles, birthmarks, stretch marks, scars, bruises, tattoos and piercings. My arms aren’t the skinniest and I do not have a flat stomach. I might not be pretty or hot like my sister and mom and may forever be stuck as “cute”. I have next to no boobs and a big ass. My feet are definitely not dainty and my hands are small. I have poofy curly Irish hair. My teeth are not white. I have acne and a round face. I can’t contour my face. I have thick eyebrows and Schmidt-fracarro syndrome with some characteristics of Duane syndrome…..so my pupils are not round and my eyes are small. I am a virgin…..I have a southern accent and at times my twang comes out…hahaha. I can sing even though I may not have the best voice. I don’t like my handwriting. I suck at tests because, due to my syndrome I can’t retain information like most people can (and yes that is factual information). I can be overly sensitive and bitchy. I’m guarded and anxious. I hate drama and conflict. I’m unsubmissive, sassy and goofy. I suck at not smiling lol. 

I am flawed and imperfect. 

I am not defined by any of the traits listed above. 

I think my syndrome is what makes me extra unique

And to be honest my ass is one of my best features ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

I’ve made mistakes in my life. 

But I am happy and proud with who I am and will NOT let someone else’s choice of words about me define ME. 

No I am not a retard because I have a genetic syndrome…….btw I FUCKING HATE THAT WORD. 

I am not weak because I am sensitive. 

I am not fat, I am curvy and proud of it. Thank you very much. 

What makes me different and things that make me even more different than other people helps me have a better compassion, understanding, and acceptance for other people who are extra unique. 

Positivity creates positivity. #quotesbyjo 

Yes, I’m making that a thing now haha #quotesbyjo 

“A dark world aches for a splash of the sun” 

I strive to be the sun in this dark world. 

If someone can’t read this and accept me, then it’s your loss. 

I’m a great friend to have, just ask my friends ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Never let someone else define who you are. 

“I’m perfectly incomplete” -Jessie J

And my scars and flaws make me who I am. 

I hope all you jotaters have a lovely night. 

Xoxo 

Belleย 

“Little town, it’s a quiet village. Everyday like the one before. Little town, full of little people…..” 

This just about sums up Ellijay. 

Know what’s sad in my opinion? 

My relatives showing me pictures of them in town and what the town used to look like “back in the day”. Instead of saying “wow, look how things have changed!” I think “wow, you’ve literally watched time pass you by, in the same town, with the same people. 

I don’t belong in a small town full of small minded people, being a “big fish in a small pond” I belong in an ocean full of big fish like me. 

In words of Little Mix “spread your wings my little butterfly”…….I’ve always liked that lyric ๐Ÿ™‚ 

However moving back here has taught me something very important! You can’t live your life in yesterdays, instead you need to live in today and dream of tomorrows. Quote me on that #quotesbyjo ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

No more going backwards, no matter how much I may want to sometimes……this hatchling will only learn to swim if I just keep swimming into the great big ocean, tackling each wave as they come. 

I don’t want to watch time pass me by, like Belle “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere” -Beauty and The Beast 

To not be afraid to be who I am…..though let’s be honest, I never am afraid ๐Ÿ˜‰ but I need people who’ll accept me, other butterflies who are spreading their wings to fly. 

Well, that’s it……..

Today’s rambling is complete. 

Hope I’ve inspired someone 

Xoxo